Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
