we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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