I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
