the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
