There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
