She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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