I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
