It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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