If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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