She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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