Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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