Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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