We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
