I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
