Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
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