somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
