I'm drive I can fine osifer
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
