Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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