no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
