I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
