Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
