my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
