oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
