now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize