He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
God I need to hump something, right now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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