It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
