i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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