i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
