her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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