well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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