I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
