i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
