Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
