K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
