It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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