since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
