Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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