Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
