so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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