It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
MIDGETS
????
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
