Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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