She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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