So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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