im about as happy as oj after his trial
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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