I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
