guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
