like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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