I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
