they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
