God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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