oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize