He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize