The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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