I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
