operation harelip BJ is a go
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
