More tranny stories later!
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize