I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize