So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
