forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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