Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
