he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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