Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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