She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just pee around me
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize