Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
