Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
