Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
