Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
