we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
