My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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